GOODBYES AND HELLOS
This was originally intended to be my entry in the 4J blog, but due to its sensitive nature, I figured I'd post it here.
I have a high school barkada. It's a group of people who have seen each other through the growing pains of adolescence up to the harder problems of our workaday world. It's a group of people, whom, 12 years after high school, still make it a point to get together and share a few laughs (at the expense of one of our own usually). Aside from our constant companionship, we've amassed something like a female edition of our boys' club made up of our significant others (for those who do have them) or spouses. They're always there...some sit lovingly by their men who are engaged in a drinking binge or trip down memory lane. Some of the other girls seem to take a more active role, drinking with the best of them and sometimes showing who wears the pants in their relationship. Others couldn't care less and wait at home while the boys have a night-out. Nevertheless, they have all become part of our class' lore and history.
Unfortunately, some things can't be avoided and some relationships fall apart. That usually means that the unfortunate girl becomes an afterthought in our history unless something happens between her and another of the boys, then a new chapter begins in our novel...an intricate web of jilted lovers and shared histories.
When a relationship falls apart in our class, the girl usually ends up breaking up with us too. Forget the many years of hanging out together. Forget the bonds already formed. Our loyalty is to our classmate. He's not asking for much right? We usually accede since we have to stand and respect the wishes of our brother. He's one of us after all.
But hasn't she become the same? It's sad when this happens and it just did. The unlucky lady has resigned herself to becoming a silent audience to our story and she can only read it through our blogs. Sister, you know who you are. We'll miss 'ya!
INXS:
Don't wanna end this on a sad note so here's a few hellos:
I have a high school barkada. It's a group of people who have seen each other through the growing pains of adolescence up to the harder problems of our workaday world. It's a group of people, whom, 12 years after high school, still make it a point to get together and share a few laughs (at the expense of one of our own usually). Aside from our constant companionship, we've amassed something like a female edition of our boys' club made up of our significant others (for those who do have them) or spouses. They're always there...some sit lovingly by their men who are engaged in a drinking binge or trip down memory lane. Some of the other girls seem to take a more active role, drinking with the best of them and sometimes showing who wears the pants in their relationship. Others couldn't care less and wait at home while the boys have a night-out. Nevertheless, they have all become part of our class' lore and history.
Unfortunately, some things can't be avoided and some relationships fall apart. That usually means that the unfortunate girl becomes an afterthought in our history unless something happens between her and another of the boys, then a new chapter begins in our novel...an intricate web of jilted lovers and shared histories.
When a relationship falls apart in our class, the girl usually ends up breaking up with us too. Forget the many years of hanging out together. Forget the bonds already formed. Our loyalty is to our classmate. He's not asking for much right? We usually accede since we have to stand and respect the wishes of our brother. He's one of us after all.
But hasn't she become the same? It's sad when this happens and it just did. The unlucky lady has resigned herself to becoming a silent audience to our story and she can only read it through our blogs. Sister, you know who you are. We'll miss 'ya!
INXS:
Don't wanna end this on a sad note so here's a few hellos:
- Hello Lyra (Dumdum) Rakusin! Our prodigal daughter has returned from the states complete with a boob job and a whole new religion! Welcome back!
- Hello too to my new DVDs! It's not as impressive as my holy week haul from last year but there's still a few days left to change that. I got Sideways, Ray, Easy, Misery and Where's the Party Yaar?
Unless our classmate expressed otherwise, I don't see why loyalty has to come into the picture. He and a certain relationship and if you or anyone developed another, different relationship, both relationships don't automaticaly have to end together.
Posted by
Hobbes |
11:18 PM
You're right Bob. My friendship with the girl won't end. It's just that our classmate has expressed it to me that she should not be present in nor invited to any of our gatherings even if he isn't there. Shame really. She's been with us for 6 1/2 years now.
Posted by
Jay |
9:16 AM
Well, just because the Mohammad can't go to the mountain doesn't mean the mountain can't go to Mohammad. Kasing laki ka pa naman ng bundok. ;)
Seriously, a certain someone applauds your stance and encourages you to act on it.
Posted by
banzai cat |
2:56 PM
The hard part is that our classmate in question, abrasive as he may be, is still one of my oldest and most loyal friends. When he made the request, it was hard to accept but I could see his point. Besides, you're right, Mohammed should come to the mountain. We could all still be friends in our own ways. I'm just sad that a familiar face won't be around us anymore.
Posted by
Jay |
3:18 PM
Lyra and a boob job? Seriously?
Posted by
Unknown |
4:47 PM
I'm not sure I understand our classmate's request. We never really gave each other orders before, especially for times when we weren't present. It's something of a precedent, I think. Well, we're all past 21, so I assume that you're well equiped to evaluate most appropriate and sincere form of action available to you.
Posted by
Hobbes |
12:12 AM
Well, one of you guys better text me an update about this. I'd rather not repeat what I did last time.
Posted by
Rhochie |
2:27 AM
We're all way past 21! Haha! Well Bob, you know our friend. Tanggap na lang natin, precedent or not.
Rhoch, what did you do last time?
Posted by
Jay |
9:28 AM
well, the girls can have its own night out so its not an official 4J gathering.
Jay, wanna be one of the girls? :)
Posted by
kong-chu |
12:12 PM
Sara, baka di ma-take ni Mia yung temptation of being alone with me. Besides, I think the one who you should be asking if he wants to be one of the girls should be R-Jay. Haha!
Posted by
Jay |
1:49 PM
Let's just say, I didn't know this guy had a nasty breakup with his gf the day before right after our class. Following day, I met up with the guy and asked if he wanted to go watch a movie with us (Micki and I), "Man, we should get your gf to join us." Along comes the girlfriend... "Hey xxxx, you guys wanna come with us?" Now talk about awkward...
Maybe you guys need to send me weekly updates. You guys know my email, right?
Posted by
Rhochie |
3:07 PM
So I guess I won't be the Bestman at Tini's wedding?
Posted by
Anonymous |
3:54 PM
Again???
Posted by
Rhochie |
9:31 PM
I thought I was gonna be best man at Tini's wedding! Rhoch, don't sweat it. We love seeing you squirm when you're not in the loop. Hehe!
Posted by
Jay |
2:16 PM
I don't think that unreasonable request would set a precedent. I think other people would be more open to letting their ex-significant others participate in future 4J events if she wanted to. Bob's right, we've never given each other orders before. It certainly won't look like we'll begin doing so, even after this. That's just not us.
As for Sara's suggestion, that's cool, again, as long as the girls want to.
Posted by
TC |
8:09 AM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Posted by
TC |
8:12 AM
I think we should stop using the word "order". Although that's how it sounded, we all know that it really is just a "request".
Posted by
Jay |
9:46 AM
"share and share a like"
a little gross considering all the fish in the sea but hey, if you want it, go get it.
so who're we talking about here?
Posted by
Ryan |
9:55 AM
Ewww, Ryan, that's a pretty nasty thought.
Er, you do know who's being talked about, right?
Posted by
banzai cat |
10:35 AM
this gotta be one of the most popular (controversial?!?) posts among our circle of blogs in a long while!
i wonder if the parties concerned are aware on how we talk about them...
Posted by
kong-chu |
5:58 PM
oooh, throwing my hat into the ring here...
I don't know the particulars, but it had to have been a pretty acrimonious breakup, and I think the request is an understandable by-product of the pain involved. If you think it's sad that she's been with us for 6 1/2 years you can only imagine how he feels.
The sanctimonious thing to say would be that it's a matter strictly between the two of them, and that this person shouldn't really burden us with the unpleasant task of having to consciously and actively exclude someone from our circle (which is, really, a rather unfortunate first).
Like I said in a post back at the j-bar, though, we are a particularly close-knit group, and so that slightly alters the complexion of the situation.
Whether or not it's a reasonable request is not so relevant as much as what you/we are willing to do what we can to help out a dear friend who may well be at a very low point in his life right now.
Posted by
Jim Arroyo |
3:51 AM
I like to watch.
Posted by
Rhochie |
10:55 PM
actually i don't know who we are talking about.
my stance is
"meet supermodels and introduce them to your friends"
Posted by
Ryan |
6:24 AM