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WILL AND GRACE

For the religious sorts out there, what do you ask for when you pray? Do you ask for health? Good fortune? Love? I used to do the same. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an atheist.l When I do pray nowadays, I do something that my dear, dear friend Solvie taught me to do...I just pray for His will. I just close my eyes and pray that His will be done.

This could be misconstrued as me sitting back and letting God do the rest but it isn't. I still go about my day, doing my freelance projects while looking for full-time work but everything now is according to His plan. Things just do happen for a reason.

Take Copylandia for instance. I didn't pray for the job but I actively sought it out. All I asked for was His will be done. I got the job but God must have read the employee handbook with me and thought to Himself "What the fuck did I get Jay into?" and He got me out of it. This conscious decision to put myself in His hands has given me a sense of inner peace for the first time in a very long time.

I'm not religious mind you. I'm only excited to go to mass whenever it's at Gesu. Anywhere else and I'd rather sleep in or watch TV. This may come as a surprise to those who knew me in high school. I was a goodie-two-shoes back then and I even was a rector for Days With the Lord. A good example of this was when I went out a few weeks ago with my high school buddies and we found out one of them was doing something "naughty" to put it lightly. This friend of mine (I guess because of guilt) took one look at me and began to rant, telling me "Don't look at me with your judgmental eyes you Days with the Lord person!"

Hilarious but not necessarily true. I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of. I have my skeletons and darker sides hidden away so I don't really qualify as a saint. But if there's one thing I know, this exercise of asking just for His will has done me a lot of good and it's something I want to just pass on.

Signing off